Prior Covid Updates

Fall/Winter 2020/21 . . . an update from Frank Joyce

It seems that everything that was normal up until March of 2020 has been upended . . . some things for a while and maybe some things forever.  We’ll see.

Anyway as it affects funeral service here’s what we know.   

Funerals are still important . . . saying good-bye to someone we’ve loved and has loved us back might be the hardest thing in the world asked of us but the ceremonies that surround the loss are necessary to build a bridge to a better tomorrow.

To borrow a phrase from funeral director and author Thomas Lynch, a colleague in Milford, Michigan, "A good funeral gets the dead where they need to go and the living where they need to be."  For Lynch and his family, their business has always been about more than just caring for the dead. "What I've written is that while the dead don't care, the dead matter," Lynch explains. "The dead matter to the living. In accompanying the dead, getting them where they need to go, we get where we need to be - to the edge of that oblivion and then returned to life with the certain knowledge that life has changed."

The months since the start of this pandemic have provided insight into what ceremonies, and how they are planned, work best.

The Evening Wake works well.  Planning a wake from four to seven means that most everyone that would like to pay their respects has a chance to do so.  Everyone in the building must wear a mask.  Sanitizer is in abundant supply.  The floors are marked off every six feet.  Family members receiving visitors are behind a rope line.  Visitors come in, pay their respects and for the most part, leave. At the start of this we thought setting aside an early hour for elderly or health compromised people was a good idea.  It was well intentioned but a flop.  Most people came early anyway and instead of spreading out the arrival of visitors and making it safer it did the opposite.  As a result we decided not to overthink it and found that the 4 to 7 hours work best and we’ve not yet at least had any issues with overcrowding or inordinate waits in line.

Church Services can easily be public if held in a church that can accommodate the numbers expected.  Those that have re-opened have a reduced capacity, seating people in every third bench for example, but can still welcome larger gatherings than our funeral home.

Funeral Home Services are recommended to be private.  Despite the large size of our building once we start distancing arriving households every six feet the room shrinks considerably.  Roughly thirty-five to forty people can be seated for a service. Services by invitation are recommended for that reason. 

Cemetery Committal Services for the most part are public events and there exists plenty of outdoor space for mourners to safely distance.  Some cemeteries limit capacity and these events fall under guidelines issued by the state that have changed from time to time.

In closing if you’re not sure what to do, call us. We will guide you through various options so that you know what to expect and come up with a plan that works best for your family. It’s also important to remember that we can be afraid of the coronavirus as much as we want.  We just can’t be afraid of each other.

Common sense mixed with compassion allows us the chance to give you our best effort and to make everyone feel, and be, as safe as possible. 

Monday, June 8, 2020 . . . an update from Frank Joyce

Phase II of re-opening is here. What should we expect now?

Thank you . . . again . . . for your patience and understanding.

According to the governor’s order, funeral homes are allowed to increase “capacity to permit 40% occupancy for one service at a time within the facility”.

For the family . . . call us. We will go over a range of options specific to your needs. In broad strokes it means that we can have public wakes now. I’d like families to consider a new way of doing this however, at least in the short term. The best way forward is to plan an hour at the beginning of the wake from 3 to 4 p.m. only for those 60 and over and for those with underlying health conditions. That will be followed by a public wake from 4 to 7 p.m. and conclude with a short prayer service and a time set aside for memory sharing. Funeral services the following day that are expected to draw a very large crowd may have to continue to be private or by invitation given that physical distancing requirements limit seating capacity at the funeral home and in some churches. That’s something we need to let be revealed in time. We’ll do our best to manage each unique situation as it presents itself.

For everybody else . . . going to wakes again will mean the world to a grieving family. Like everything else this will be sort of a slow roll out until everybody gets comfortable again doing things that we took for granted just a short time ago. Above all else, be patient with yourself . . . if you’re not yet up to coming to a public wake ask someone who is to ‘sign you in’ and to offer your condolences to the family. You can call us and we’d be happy to pass on a message. For those coming to wakes please be patient with us as we work through the logistics of ‘keeping the line moving’. In some case where there’s a very large crowd you may be handed a restaurant pager and be asked to wait outside or in your car and we’ll buzz you in as space becomes available . . . whoever said that necessity is the mother of invention was right.

The past twelve weeks have proven what I knew to be true . . . I have seen countless times when the good people of Waltham have rallied together and lifted up broken hearts and held them close and helped them to heal. Thank you for your kindness and generosity of spirit. 

It got us through.

Monday, March 16, 2020 . . . a message from Frank Joyce regarding the 'new normal' during the coronavirus pandemic 

A death has occurred. What happens now? 

In times of uncertainty and crisis one might wonder what to do at the loss of a loved one . . . and as family and friends, how do we show support given the inability to attend services?

For the family . . . call us. We know what to do.  We will take care of your loved one and will meet with you via telephone, email and in person as the need arises.  We will help you plan services.  You can have a wake and a funeral. Any public notices will say that funeral services are private.  You will have the ability to invite people to be present with you; however at no time can more than twenty-five people gather at one time.  We will plan no more than one service per day in our facility to ensure that exposure to others is minimized. As new information becomes available protocols may change.

For everybody else . . . telephone your family member or friend who has suffered a loss so that they know that they are not alone.  Offer words of love and support and a virtual hug . . . drop something delicious by the house and have a very brief visit . . . leave a condolence on the funeral home website . . . make a donation to the suggested charity . . . send a card or flowers or have a Mass said . . . remain in touch . . . and above all else . . . say prayers for the deceased and their family. These gifts of sympathy and charity are beyond measure and will give the family the courage they need to face a new day.

I have seen countless times when the good people of Waltham have rallied together and lifted up broken hearts and held them close and helped to heal them.  No doubt, that will continue.